Sunday, November 05, 2006

And oh so short work day

I'm back in Whistler to continue with the kitchen reno for a couple days. Though it'll probably be longer because I played very lazy today by only working a couple hours. I thought I'd take a perfect opportunity to play on the computer for the day. My environment here is quite fitting for just playing quietly on the macbook, listening to rarities in my itunes library, drinking tons of espresso and playing with Ferdinand and Enzo.

I spoke last night to R. about how ironic it was that her and I can't really write in our blogs in the style we always have when it relates to her and I. Today that is very true.

Yesterday she spoke to me of an intervention of sorts her co-workers gave her. It was to protect her against me. What the? She went on to tell me how it caused her to hve tears on her face most of the day.This story hit me like a ton of bricks and was the first hick-up since I fell for her. My immediate reaction was to go out of my way to prove to these people, be it in person or remotely, of my genuine intentions of deep caring for her. Of wanting to share something of wonder with her in the future which would bring her so much happiness. R. did express a concern that I might do something. For she had a clear view of things and that they just didn't know me, and therefore had the opinion they did.

I can't convince anyone of my intentions. I can only be the person of integrity I believe myself to be. Life is just never perfect is it. You know when you meet the friend of the person you're involved with and for whatever reason you find the friend has reservations about you. It really hurts because you're ultimately helpless. Not that it matters too much; the person you need to be on the same page with is the person you care about. I'm certain when these people meet me, immediately they're feelings for me will do a 180.

Forgive me for possibly writing awkwardly, it's a new emotion in this chapter of my life and I don't know that I've get a clear perspective on it.

Today it became clear that I'm no internet wizard. I tried to make up a front page for my upcoming web site on apple's iweb program. Great, no problem. Till I tried to publish it to the hosting site I just gave $200 to. Now on my url all you get is a 404 error message. Just perfect. Hopefully I'll be able to get it reset and find someone with know how who can load it for me. I think it'd be so neat if i could give my customers a business card with my company url and an email address from that site, not just a lousy hotmail.

I wish it wasn't dark and dinner time on a Sunday right now, because I really feel energized to do some work on this place.

Just this second I received an email from a customer of mine who I literally hate working for. In the fall I did their main floor bathroom and it was nine days of hell for me. The house is full of anger and tension. The husband and wife hate each other and never talk. Their teenage daughter is being the challenging 15 yo that she is and is therefore putting much stress on the parents. The husband drives me batty with stupid little things I hate dealing with. Just petty shit. When I stop getting calls on this contract, it will end my time with them.

Jesus for what is an amazing time in my life, today is starting to suck.

Yeah yeah, I don't have cancer or anything, but fuck I get to vent and rant too don't I?

1 comment:

Om said...

Yikes! Not suck nice customers!

The friends intervention is a bit ..no.. ALOT! Over the top! Like you moved in with her or something..holy christ they must have no lives! And live vicariously through their single, interesting and beautiful friend! As for them making her cry all day! No true friend would do that! Especially at work! That is taboo! I want to go slap them all! Don't you worry about them! It sounds like your lady would not make decisions based on their perspective as she clearly has her own.. OR she would have never met you in the first place! Or they may have heard the internet horror stories, in that case.. a bit of warning is kinda warranted.. But after she met you.. that is a little too late! Blow it off! Everything will be fine!